Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
