i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
