Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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