You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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