I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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