So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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