my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
