i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
