Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize