haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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