wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
