with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
