Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Too much gin, very little bucket
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
not ubering you a puppy
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
