Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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