Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
