come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
