ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
