Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize