It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
