The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
