Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Couch. On fire.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize