I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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