I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
