I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So much rum. So many feels.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How drunk are you?
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