She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
