he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
