We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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