I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
