we're chasing vodka with high fives
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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