Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
