There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
