idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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