Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
