She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
