I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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