Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
handjob tips. give me some.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
