Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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