The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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