How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Even my vagina gasped.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
