dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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