when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
