ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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