man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
