we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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