All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
