I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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