Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
