i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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