Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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