i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
