I must be too annoying 4 u.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize