things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
