very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
