D3 body, D1 cock
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
