Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
