Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
