quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize