after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
