okay pat passed out under dana's car
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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