He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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