Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
