He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
